But you may be getting cocky. And your employees are, frankly, getting rude. And a little stupid as well.
When someone buys, as I did, 12 new books in hardcover, that's someone you might want to suggest a Nook to. But you didn't. Not one employee. Not the one at the register, not the ones working the floor.
One of the books, by the way, was Mindy Kaling's Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns). Not only was the book a best seller, Mindy has been on The Office for how many years? (Her Fox sitcom The Mindy Project debuts September 25th.) So when I asked a female clerk where to find the book and even added, "She's on The Office," that's a question she should have been able to answer. Here's what she told me, "Oh, no, she doesn't have a book, Maybe you're thinking of Tina Fey?"
On my own, I found the book in the humor section.
"On my own" is sort of the customer motto at Barnes & Noble, isn't it. At the cafe, I ordered a chocolate banana smoothie and a spinach quiche. My smoothie was in a glass. Good. Proud of you. And I even was handed a straw. Nice. Don't use them, but nice. But about that quiche . . .
Served on a small saucer. That was good. And it came with a (dull) knife. But no fork. When I asked of a fork, I was told I could just slice it -- with the knife already provided -- and eat the pieces with my hands. I've done a lot of entertaining over the years but, so far, I've never yet passed a quiche off to guests as finger food.
I understand some pass mini-quiches off as finger foods. But that's not what the cafe serves, mini-quiche, is it?
No.
And even if it had been, when I asked for a fork, I shouldn't have had to then make a case for why I needed one. You do know you were just going to wash that metal fork and reuse it, right? You didn't think giving me a fork meant I'd think I paid for it and therefore try to leave with it, did you?
But the worst was the music and movie section.
For about five minutes, I thought, "Damn, I must look really hot tonight." I flashed all of my pearly whites at the attentive male clerk who seemed so helpful. I was wondering, in fact, would he ask me out or would I need to drop hints? Maybe I'd just ask him out.
Then the sixth minute kicked in and a man walked in. The clerk made a beeline for him.
Naturally, I was surprised.
"Well if he's pushing for a three-way, he's got another thing coming," I told myself. "Something like that's going to require drinks. Probably a meal."
Then a woman walked in and he was all over her.
Fickle.
After they both left, he suddenly rediscovered me.
And just as I was about to tell him, "It's not that easy," I suddenly realized, as he stood two inches behind me, he wasn't interested in me -- not even as a customer. He was shadowing me like I was a shop lifter.
Yes, I was offended.
I was also irritated when I asked him if the store had a movie and a few seconds later I turned around to find him still on my heels and not checking the inventory on the computer.
If I'd had more time, I would have followed him around. I plan to do that on my next visit.
For this one, I just asked him to carry my six DVDs up to the registers in the front because I would pay for them when I was done.
"You can pay for them here."
"Yes, but I don't want to. I'll use my credit card once, thank you, to pay for my books and my DVDs. Now I'm going to look at books for 20 minutes. When I'm done I will be ready to check out and I will be in a hurry so have them up front, thank you."
That seemed so clear.
And it's not as if he was busy.
And that's not just me using my memory. I actually took photos. Of him wondering around the store. Of him talking to co-workers. One of him picking his nose.
25 minutes later, I was ready to go and went to the front with my books. At the register I said there were a number of DVDs that were supposed to be up there.
The woman at the register told me, "You pay for them in the back."
"Uh, no, as the paying customer, I'll pay for them anywhere in the store that I want. Now if the DVDs are not here, you need to go find out where they are because I am ready to go and this was already supposed to have been taken care of."
With a heavy sigh, the woman behind the register picked up the phone to call the movies and music department and ask if a woman had left a group of DVDs that would be paid for upfront?
With a heavier sigh, the woman hung up the phone, glared at me and then walked towards the back of the store.
I spent $342.55 and you may need to explain to your crew that was my money and that I could spend it anywhere I wanted. The fact that I chose to spend it at Barnes & Noble should have gotten me some quality service -- and that would be true if I'd only spent 99 cents.
Equally true is I can pay for my purchases where ever I want in the store. And if I don't like a man with a big old yokel chin following me around like I'm a thief, I don't have to pay for my purchase in his section. I can ask him to take my selections to the front counter and that's his job.
That's his job.
Barnes & Noble may need to explain that to their employees.
It's the same if I don't feel like carrying 12 books around the store as I check to make sure I didn't miss anything on the shelves.
If I, a small woman, stop a clerk walking through the store and say, "Could you please take these books up to the front counter for me while I continue looking," that should be done immediately. There's no discussion necessary.
I'm not trying to steal anything, I'm not trying to leave the store with merchandise I didn't pay for. I'm trying to enjoy my time at Barnes & Noble.
And the staff should be doing their best to make sure that happens. That is, please understand, their job.
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Consider this based on a true story. This was written by Betty, Dona, Ava and C.I. after a friend of Betty's shared a horrible experience she'd just had (Friday night) at a Barnes & Noble. The amount spent (minus the cafe) is correct. The Mindy Kaling book is also a real detail and the woman was told that she must have Kaling confused with Tina Fey. The man in music and movies following her around -- staring at her when she bent over to look at DVDs on the bottom shelf even -- is true. Her asking him to take the DVDs to the front of the store is true. Another reason she wanted them at the front of the store was he didn't help her and she didn't want him getting credit for the sale. She found all the DVDs herself and he wouldn't even look up the DVD she'd asked him about. When she got to the counter, the DVDs were not there and the woman at the register wanted to give her attitude.
Barnes & Noble really needs to talk to their staff about the way they interact with customers.