The Third Estate Sunday Review focuses on politics and culture. We're an online magazine. We don't play nice and we don't kiss butt. In the words of Tuesday Weld: "I do not ever want to be a huge star. Do you think I want a success? I refused "Bonnie and Clyde" because I was nursing at the time but also because deep down I knew that it was going to be a huge success. The same was true of "Bob and Carol and Fred and Sue" or whatever it was called. It reeked of success."
Sunday, June 03, 2012
Could POLITICO change it's name to BITCHY? (Ava and C.I.)
We wondered about a possible name change as we made our way through William Bergstrom's bitchy article demeaning Scott Baio and Jon Voight. He wanted readers to know that Barack Obama had no problem getting celebrity endorsements but Mitt Romney? "The two most recognizable stars in attendance were Scott Baio, best known for his titular role in the '80s sitcom 'Charles in Charge,' and Jon Voight of 'Midnight Cowby' (1969) and 'Deliverance' (1972) fame, who won an Oscar in 1979 but has acted in supporting roles for many years now."
Meow. Bergstrom's a catty one. Let's see if we can play his game too?
But before we get to that fun, let's deal with a few facts.
First off, the 1979 Academy Award winning role was in Coming Home opposite Jane Fonda (who took home the Best Actress award). It's also one of Voight's best known roles.
Second of all, Jon Voight is a name. Jon Voight was certainly famous enough to be a subplot in Seinfeld's "The Mom & Pop Store."
Third of all, in 1969, he got his first Best Actor nomination. Of the five nominees, two are dead (John Wayne -- who won for True Grit -- and Richard Burton) and three are alive (Jon, Dustin Hoffman, Peter O'Toole). Of the three alive, none of them has been on the big screen in a lead role recently. The year after Jon Voight won his Academy Award, Dustin Hoffman won for Kramer vs. Kramer. The year before Jon Voight won? Richard Dreyfuss took home the statue for The Goodbye Girl and he's not been all over the big screen recently in lead roles.
Fourth, Jon Voight will be 74 at the end of this year. He has one film scheduled to be released this year and at least two more scheduled to shoot.
Reality, Jon Voight is a legend. He's beyond celebrity. You may not agree with his politics (we don't) but that doesn't change the reality that he's a legend.
Interestingly, POLITICO is only bitchy when it comes to Republicans. Take Sarah Jessica Parker whom they've filed multiple items on -- like this one or this one -- for supporting Barack Obama. And bitchy William Bergstrom appears to infer that she's some sort of name and above that of Jon Voight.
Ready? Let's play.
Reality, Sarah Jessica Parker is an ugly woman who had her chin wart removed in the hopes that it would make her a film star and it didn't. Nothing did before, nothing did after. Sarah Jessica Parker cannot carry a film. She has no Academy Award to her name, not even a nomination. She does have one Emmy for acting (for a very weak year for women -- 2004). She also has a Razzie. She's famous for being one of four women in a 30 minute cable TV show that ended in 2004. It had a semi-successful film (financially successful, critically a disaster) which was followed by a film that didn't do so well especially with critics. In fact it did so poorly that the 'solution' was to reboot Sex in the City with younger actresses.
Her career is a joke as is she. No one wants her for a lead role, she's flopped too many times. In Lovelace, the praise for the supporting players is going to Sharon Stone and Parker's said to have delivered the same one-note performance she's been giving since Square Pegs. We don't normally comment on Sarah Jessica Parker. In part because we have nothing nice to say about her. But this is what passes for a celebrity? An actress more famous for insults hurled at her on Family Guy? An actress who has never carried a hit film? An actress who has repeatedly failed on broadcast TV and in every attempt to star her or make her one of two co-stars in a film?
She's 47-years-old and started playing Carrie Bradshaw in 1998? You really think she should star in a commercial for Barack on MTV? You really think she can appeal to Tweeners and teens? What? Was the campaign's alternate Carole Channing?
Wow, playing Bitchy Bergstrom was so much fun, let's take another turn!
Also earning praise from Bergstrom is plastic surgery victim George Clooney. Like his once manly looks, whatever talents he had vanished long ago. And while, with his old face, he could deliver an audience on TV, he's not a movie star. He's played many leading roles, he's just repeatedly failed to deliver blockbusters. If Harrison Ford had those puny box office numbers in his hey day, he never would have been a star. Clooney is box office poison, this is the man who killed the Batman franchise. But, hey, with his record of box office dogs and new face, maybe the American Kennel Club will make a movie about a Pekingese and cast him in the lead?
We could go on and on.
But, reality is Jon Voight's a living legend. George Clooney's this century's Tyrone Power -- no, his films don't have a great deal of cachet today -- and Sarah Jessica Parker has a long future to look forward to as a celebrity on The Game Show Network because she's this century's less photogenic Ruth Buzzi.
Scott Baio? He was a good looking teen idol. He had the acting chops to be a lead in 3 TV shows: Happy Days, Joannie Loves Chachi and Charles In Charge. He may have future successes. Even if he doesn't, he's already as successful as Bob Denver and we doubt that, were he still alive, POLITICO would be ridiculing Gilligan.
There was no reason for POLITICO to be so bitchy. Patricia Heaton is a Republican. We don't like her politics. For years we ridiculed her acting. In The Middle, she's proved us wrong and she is an amazing actress doing first rate work. We hope she's honored with an Emmy nomination this year and we wouldn't dispute it if the industry gave her the award. She has become one of the finest TV actresses -- Frankie is no sketch, she'ss a full bodied, fully realized person.
And it doesn't hurt to say that because it's true. We can disagree with her politics all we want. We can even mock them if we so choose. But to deny what she's accomplished?
That's just dishonest. Bitchy can sometimes be amusing. Dishonesty, however, is always just embarrassing.