Sunday, March 20, 2011

Those wacky political rags

054

The Progressive
continues to offer the worst covers. That's what stands out the most as we begin our latest survey of the printed political rags. The March issue features art by Zachary Pullen and the art makes Republican Paul Ryan look as cuddly as a smurf. A few will note that he's setting off a dynamite detonator (though no explosion) but most will miss that for two reasons. First, it's not obvious in the art. Second, on newstands the bottom half of the cover is not visible so even those who might notice the dynamite detonator can't see it. The takeaway for many will be, "Oh, that Paul Ryan. He's so cuddly. Even The Progressive thinks so!"

No, we don't think that's the message it was going for. But does it even bother with messaging these days? This is the 8th anniversary of the Iraq War and The Progressive wants to . . . 'remember' -- kind of. Amitabh Paul contributes the two-page feature "The Arab Revolution" which makes a tiny sliver of room for Iraq:

A nonviolent resistance movement also formed in Iraq against the U.S. occupation. This coalition was made up of a loose network of civil society organizations, unions in the oil sector, women's groups, and students. Despite being severely outgunned, such entities persisted in their peaceful resistance to the U.S. presence in Iraq.

If you're underwhelmed -- we are as well -- you might be interested in "Enjoy A Bath Again . . . Safely and Affordably." Huh?

Full page ad for "Walk-in tub." Yes, the advertisers are hitting The Progressive's key demographic.

The whole issue's a joke from Dave Zirin's sudden love for Arizona to David Simon's proclaiming he's a Socialist. (When Simon admits he's also a bad writer, we'll hail him as a truth teller.)

What if Uncle Sam were one of us, asks the cover of Joan Osborne wanna be Mother Jones but just to continue their dualistic covers. (Uncle Sam's a woman whose neck is bitten by Bela's Dracula). While the covers may toy with the madonna/whore dichotomy, Clara Jeffery and Monika Bauerlein reduce it down to just "whore." America scratches it's head and collectively asks, "Did those two idiots use their editor's note to praise neoliberal, DLC-er Cory Booker?" Yes, they did!

Between that and cheesy pecs & nips photos of males explaining why they think they are masculine (no one offers either conditioning or biology -- take that Social Darwinists!), the erratic publication should be running sex classifieds. Page 62 offers up a full page ad for sex videos -- on DVD or VHS!!!! The ad promises "100% SATISFACTION GUARANTEED!" Mind blowing orgasms implied.

Over at The Nation, ugly covers must indicate ugly writers. Momma Wasn't A Rolling Stone's Melissa Harris-Perry shows up with yet another incoherent column, poorly written from the first sentence. We need a stronger term than "incoherent" for John Nichols' four page article. Reading it, you grasp The Nation hates their readers just as much as they loathe good writing.

Washington Monthly has the best cover of the month. Natalie Wood, Robert Culp and Dyan Cannon (as well as a sliver of Elliott Gould) are in bed with Dan Savage. Like many visuals, it falls apart if you think too hard. Exactly why would Dan Savage hop in bed for sex with Wood (who is dead) or Cannon? But Bob, Carol, Ted and Alice is a classic film.

Marshall Allen has the strongest article in the issue ("First Do No Harm") but every one is readable and you sense that writers and editors took the time to do their jobs.

The libertarian magazine Reason's strongest feature -- which would be a strong article in any political magazine, right, left or center -- is Matt Welch's "Against 'Incitement'." And, for fun, read it while picturing Bush still in the White House. That exercise will expose how hollow so many on our side (left) were following the Tucson tragedy.

Pour some wine, put on Vanessa Williams' Greatest Hits, yes, we saved the best for last, ISR. For Egypt coverage, no one does it better. It's amazing that many of the same people put out the US Socialist Worker which is so frequently a nightmare to endure while ISR issues are ones that you can flip to any article at random and settle in for a true reading experience. Best article? There's not a bad or even "just okay" one this issue. But we'd probably pick Stuart Easterling's "Mexico's Revolution 1910-1920" as the best of the best while noting we're very sad his three-part series is concluding.