Sunday, May 30, 2010

Those wacky political rags

"Readers welcome!" Washington Monthly pretends to proclaim with the cover notice of "Special Spring Book Issue." But thumbing quickly through the May/June issue, you note you have to go way in the back of the magazine and the "book issue" consists of less than ten. The whole thing appears to exist so that Ed Kilgore could beat off to David Remnick's literotica The Bridge. Well even centrists need to get their rocks off, right?

Mags

Sadly, the rest of us are left with nothing. There's some hissing at conservatives ("Partisan Hacks") for attempting investigative journalism and then, a few fur balls later, "Can The Free Market Save The Space Program?" Does anyone wonder how this Washington Monthly article will turn out? Nine (long) pages later, Charles Homas is saying not just "HELL YES!" but also that the "free market" needs US tax dollars tossed to it. That's really not a "free market," now is it?

And Extra! really isn't a magazine. Does even Highlights try to sell 16 'page' issues (that's counting the cover material -- ads and all -- as four pages)? They certainly wouldn't attempt to do so at $4,95. What's on the tiny minds of FAIR's transcript publication? Peter Hart and Steve Rendall flaunt their tiny penises while admitting to Tea Party envy. Boys, put it back in your pants. Please. Peter Hart knew Barack was full of s**t in 2007 but stayed silent and thinks that makes him less of a whore than Stever. Please, Petey, the two of you stand beneath the same streetlamp.

Whores but never journalists, the two pretend they can't understand why the Tea Party might be news in a media landscape that insists it's an Obama-thon nonstop, a Barack-in eternally. Real journalists know that the discordant note will always be news. Whores? They know to get the money upfront. Keep pitching during those pledge drives, Petey and Stevie. Julie Hollar flirts with Whore status in an article about the lack of lesbians and gays featured in the January and February TV media coverage of a possible repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Flirts with? Rachel Maddow did a s**t poor job. Hollar feels the need to pad that out by noting that, in 2009, Maddow did . . . You're covering the repeal coverage in the first two months of the year. Stop trying to cheat the scale.

From the weak to the weaker, The New Republic. The June 10, 2010 issue tries to turn Barry iconic with a cover illustration that's supposed to harken back to a Saturday Review cover during the JFK era. Page one let's you know it's their special fairy tale edition. That's where the editors insist that Elana Kagan deserves your support because she's a liberal. Right. And Nancy Reagan was a virgin when she married Ronnie (and those rumors about her excelling at blow jobs. . .). Kenneth J. Theisen and a host of others would beg to differ but that's the thing about fairy tales, they don't have to make sense.

Continue the slide into the ridiculous, Foreign Policy. Robert Paarlberg contributes "Attention Whole Food Shoppers" which wants to argue that "organic" (aka the way civilization grew vegetables for centuries) actually can't feed the world's hungry. "Wherever the rural poor have gained access to improved roads, modern seeds, less expensive fertilizer, electrical power, and better schools and clinics, their productivity and their income have increased." Genetically modified seeds and crops are the answer sayeth Frankenweenie Paarlberg. Yes, people are paid to write this crap -- usually by corporations.

And then there's ISR. Which can usually be depended upon to say something worth hearing. Instead it's a bulls**t issue for bulls**t readers. ISR exists to cover domestic politics within the US and attempt to build connections to the Socialist movement worldwide. More and more, it can't even build connections in the US. The editor's note makes the why of that clear as ObamaCare is discussed:

On the one hand, it must still be said that the bill is a bad one overall, in the sense that it reinforces the private system, though it managed a few provisions that are an improvement over the previous setup. On the other hand, the passage of the bills against unanimous and vitriolic Republican opposition has stopped the GOP momentum and forced the "tea party" right wing onto the defensive.


First of all, no, it hasn't. They live in a dream world (where Daddy Howie Zinn still tucks them in at night -- from the grave). Second of all, the bill has ensured that single-payer will not happen in the next forty years. That's nothing to be proud of. Third of all, the passage of the bills required leadership and Barack to silence dissent and blackmail Democrats into support. How is that ever a good thing? Finally, since when the hell is ISR supposed to be applauding weak-ass Dems to begin with?

Answer, they're not. ISR's new motto: Written by Whores and intended for Whores.