Don't list them as references

In 1932, actress Miriam Hopkins began adoption proceedings and, though successful, she set off many howls of laughter by listing noted wit, writer and drunk Dorothy Parker as a character witness. Last week saw similar questionable vouching taking place.



First up, closeted lesbian Elana Kagan was vouched for (as not-a-lesbian) by Eliot Spitzer. That would be the same Eliot Spitzer who was driven out of office when it was learned he hired hookers while governor of New York. Eliot, you have no credibility in this area.

Then there was the latest scandal involving Roman Polanski. A woman emerged last week to charge that the director -- already wanted for a 1970s rape which caused him to flee the US -- had sexually assaulted her when she was only 16. Showing up to vouch for her? Noted pedophile Woody Allen. "It's something that happened many years ago... he has suffered, he has not been allowed to go to the United States. He was embarrassed by the whole thing," insisted Allen -- supposedly speaking on behalf of Polanski but really just projecting about himself.