X e-mailed asking what it was like to have a penis and, seeing it, I thought it was an e-mail about the privileges men have in this society that women don't due to discrimination. But, no, the reply informed me that I'd missed the point.
Physically, the woman wondered, what was it like to have a penis?
We exchanged 14 e-mails on this topic and, when discussing story ideas for this edition, it was floated that this woman might have had the 'something' (adjective of choice) e-mail of the year. At which point, Dona pointed out, "Well if it's weird or interesting, include Jim in there as well because he kept replying to her."
And I did. So this is more or a less a Cliff Notes version of the responses to her basic questions.
Let's deal with the hang down aspect first. Apparently breasts cause strain on the back if they're very large. Do cocks? I have never heard a guy say, "Oh, my cock's just too heavy for my back! I'm going to need to get a reduction!" Though I'm sure, quickly adding two and two, some guys will now immediately begin making such comments.
The hangdown aspect of the cock really isn't an issue. The balls are a different story. Going "commando" refers to wearing pants but no underwear (boxers, briefs or jock). That can cause a problem, especially in sweats, as you have to constantly adjust your package. It's not really a penis issue -- adjustments -- unless you're getting an erection at the time. Most adjustments have to do with the balls.
Is there pain involved in the penis?
The tip of my penis burns when I've waited about a half-hour after I should have taken a leak. (How does that ever happen? We're doing a writing edition and I don't want to break away because we're finally getting something good written.) So when I finally do go to the bathroom, I'm running off to it. The pain's a burning and it feels like there's a pinch about a quarter-inch down the head of penis that's preventing the urine from blasting out.
Other times?
I'm circumcised so the head is sensitive.
That means, for me, extra lubricant during masturbation. Yes, I have masturbated. Failure to use lubricant once left me so red and raw I had to fake a cold to avoid going off to school because just the pain of having clothing on top of my penis was too much.
In terms of sex, it's a tingle and not pain.
Those moments right before you blast, at least for me, are intense and are felt in the head of the penis. If I'm smart (and Dona's not in a rush), I'll back off and enjoy those moments because you can really prolong that.
The most painful thing that ever happened to my penis was in Boy Scouts (yes, I was in Boy Scouts) on a camping trip when a scorpion got in my sleeping bag and crawled up my shorts and stung me, yes, right on the penis.
That was also a big problem.
Why?
The staff with me would not look at . . . well, my staff.
I'm not joking.
There had already been too many scandals of counselors molesting Boy Scouts.
So I'm hopping around screaming, having dropped my shorts to my ankles, that, "It hurts! It hurts!" And I have no idea why. And no adult will look.
Finally, a guy from another troop came over to see what the yelling was about and he looked and told me I'd been stung by something. They then found the scorpion in my sleeping bed.
It was very, very painful and not 'for a few moments and then it faded away.'
And being stung on the 'underside,' it was impossible for me to see for myself.
After that e-mail, there wasn't a reply for a few weeks before the last question finally arrived: Are erections embarrassing in public?
Maybe for guys that pack light!
Seriously, erections are embarrassing in middle school. And then, it's embarrassing around girls. In gym class, there was one guy (Raymond) who used to flex his around in his shorts, he was so proud of it. I don't mean off in a corner privately. I mean out on the field with everyone around and hollering, "Watch this!"
But you learn how to handle it which mainly involves covering it. So you wear your shirt untucked, for example.
After middle school, I've never really gotten embarrassed by an erection in public. (While clothed.) But whether or not that's the norm, I have no idea.