Sunday, November 15, 2009

Mailbag (Dona)

mailcall

Over a year ago, I quit smoking and, each month, a number of e-mails come in asking (a) if I've started back up, (b) how did I quit and (c) is it possible for them to quit?

If you want to quit, you can probably quit. If you're quitting for someone else, you probably will have a much more difficult journey and chances are it will be unsuccessful.

I didn't do the patch or hypnosis or aversion therapy or any of the methods suggested in e-mails.

I was smoking my last pack when I decided to quit. I had three or four more cigarettes in the pack as I was deciding. It was early Saturday morning, probably one in the morning or two. I just realized I didn't want to smoke anymore. I told myself I'd smoke the last cigarettes and be done with it.

And so I finished the last three or four, threw away the empty pack and went to sleep.

And?

No, I haven't started smoking again.

I'm still smoke free.

If I hadn't finished the pack, I would've started smoking again.

Why?

I would have woken up with three or four cigarettes. I would have told myself, "I shouldn't waste those."

I would have smoked them and, since I'd already smoked, told myself it was okay to go buy another pack and that I could quit tomorrow.

By having none when I woke up, I could get dressed, go out and buy a pack or . . . I could go back to sleep and I love sleeping in on Saturdays.

I smoked it gone and I didn't buy anymore after.

That's how I quit.

It might work for you, it might not.

I smoked about two and a half packs a day. More during these writing sessions.

So it was a major change for me when I stopped smoking. Writing was the worst after. I could get through almost anything but these writing editions.

I would always feel that if I had a lit cigarette in hand, I would be contributing so much more and have so many more wonderful ideas.

That feeling finally passed after about six months.

Now days?

The only time I have an urge is when I watch a movie I used to smoke along with. For example, we were watching The Talented Mr. Ripley a few weeks ago and Gwenyth Paltrow was smoking a Marlboro Red which only reminded me of how I used to smoke my way through this film.

If you're wanting to quit, I encourage you to try the method you think will work and that may involve inventing your own method. If you're not wanting to quit, I really don't think you'll be successful.

A number of you e-mail about being pressured by others to quit and how hard that is. I was lucky there in that no one told me I needed to quit, no one tried to guilt me. If they had? I'd probably still be smoking because I am one of those people who does not like to be told what to do. I do not feel like I'm 'better' than anyone, despite some e-mails from readers who have taken my quitting very personally and see it as a rejection of them.

After Rebecca found out she was pregnant, she immediately quit which left me the token smoker for people with sites in the community and I know how it felt when I was smoking so I don't take it personally when someone expresses anger or confusion over my quitting.

I'm not attempting to preach to anyone or tell them what they 'need' to do or don't 'need' to do.

In the end, the reason I quit was because it was time for me too. If it hadn't been time, I'd still be smoking.

In other news, NOW on PBS has an online poll as to "Should a government-run health care plan, if implemented, exclude coverage of abortion services?" And US Senator Byron Dorgan chairs the Democratic Policy Committee which last week released "Our Best Chance for Success in Afghanistan: Getting the Strategy Right First." And a number of you e-mailed to note that Ava and C.I.'s "How ABC pissed off everyone (Ava and C.I.)" really pinpointed your feelings of estrangement from the TV show V.