Magazine throws bash

NYC, New York (AP) -- Revelers celebrated Saturday to honor the 500th issue of MAD Magazine. The comic magazine began offering it's parodies and satirical look at the world in 1952 as a bi-monthly magazine before quickly become a monthly.



Spokesperson Alfred E. Newman led an afternoon conference entitled "What me worry?" -- the trademarked phrase Newman debuted in 1955.



"Inspirational, simply inspirational," declared Katrina vanden Heuvel, editor and publisher of The Nation magazine. "This has been a glorious day for free speech and vodka."



vanden Heuvel had obviously enjoyed copious amounts of the latter as evidenced by her inability to operate an elevator. When asked how she decided which costume to wear to the celebration, vanden Heuvel responded, "What costume?"



More confusion ensued in the main ball room when Newman and US House Rep Dennis Kucinich entered from opposite points of the room. "They really are two different people!" gasped Will Durst.



At the podium, bad writer and den mother to the push-up bra set of 'feminists,' Katha Pollitt was explaining the effect MAD Magazine had on her life, "I was a homely teenager. I know some of you may find that hard to believe. Don't all gasp at the same time. Anyway, I was homely and I'd read MAD and they made all the powerful women look ugly. And that's how I decided I could be powerful. MAD helped me visualize the dream. If you can dream it, you can own it. If you can see it, you can be it. If . . ."



Following Pollitt's speech, revelers took a 30 minute cat nap -- well, during Pollitt's speech.



Outside the auditorium, in the parking lot, Matthew Rothschild, editor and chair of the board of The Progressive, was taking part in what he dubbed "a mass political action" but which several passersby dubbed a "lonely pity party."



Rothschild decried what he termed the "softening" of the magazine and, "most of all, it's high circulation."



Wearing a Barry O! So Stylish! t-shirt, an Obama button and, he told the press, Barack BVDs, Rothschild insisted that MAD no longer did hard hitting satire.



When shown a section of "The Bailout Hymn of the Republic" produced by Frank Jacobs and James Warhola, Rothschild wrinkled his nose and insisted, "They're making fun of Barack! That's racism! It is wrong to make fun of Barack! He is our God, Lord, Master and Turkey Baster!"

Spittle dripping from his chin, Rothschild was led away by the police as he dove both hands down the front of his pants and began rubbing furiously. Said MAD magazine editor John Ficarra, "The FBI once asked MAD to stop calling its director, J. Edgar Hoover, 'J. Edgar Electrolux'."