You take the bad
You take the bad
You take it
And then you're had
The Lies of life
The Lies Of Life
Eastland School For Liars.
Donna Brazile stands at the bottom of the stairs of the dormitory.
"Ricie! Johnny! Get down here and give Big Momma's Mouth a great big hug!"
Angry Susan Rice comes clomping down the stairs on a moto-cross bike followed by a scampering John Nichols.
"Girls! Girls! Where is Betsy!"
"Here I am, Mrs. Brazile," Betsy Reed calls out from across the hall.
Betsy pushes out her lower lip, sticks out her ass and poses.
"My heart is in the Soviet Union, but I live in Britania!" Betsy purrs.
"Oh, Betsy, you big Red," gushes John, "you got a new pair of jeans!"
"I shop to drop."
"Let's get some breakfast, I'm famished!" says John, grabbing Betsy hand and hurrying off to the cafeteria.
"Ricie," Mrs. Brazile exclaims, her voice shuddering on every syllable, "why are you so quiet?"
"It's always been a tough life for my people, Mrs. Brazile."
"There, there, Ricie, come give me a big hug and brush up close against my bosom."
Shrugging Susan does just that while Donna nearly rubs her breasts raw up against Susan's face.
Cafeteria where Betsy plays with her food and John plows through three breakfasts.
Betsy shakes her head and reminds, "John, the big dance is coming up. You better lay off the food. You know the saying: Guys don't make passes at gals with fat asses."
"I can't help it!" John replies shoveling more food down. "Ever since Mrs. Brazile gave me this bad Toni home perm, no one's given me a second look! It's so depressing!"
"I think you're just premenstrual," Betsy says flatly. "And what's with all this 'Mrs. Brazile'? I don't think she's ever been married."
A greaser walks up to the table.
"You wanna buy some ammo?"
"Is it talking to us, Johnny?" asks Betsy.
"Hello, I'm John, you must be . . . unusual."
"I'm Sammy. Sammy Power," declares the greaser, grabbing her crotch and spitting on the floor.
"You really are something," giggles a beaming John.
"So you wanna buy some ammo or what?"
"Ammo?" ask Betsy. "No, we're here to get a solid education in lying. We don't have time for your . . . ammo. Come on, Johnny."
Betsy rises and starts to walk off but stops, looks over her shoulder and sees John still grinning at Sammy.
"I said, come on!"
Shrugging and stuffing another cinnamon roll in the mouth, John nods to Sammy and hurries after Betsy.
"Honestly, Johnny, I think you're smitten."
"I just thought she was different . . ." John replies.
Mrs. Brazile's bedroom.
"The girls are gone, it's time to get my girl!"
Donna Brazile sings to herself and hurries to pull a blow up doll out from underneath her bed.
"Did you miss me, Mandy?"
Donna begins blowing up the doll.
Puff.
Puff.
Puff. Puff. Puff.
BOOM!
As the dust and debris settle, we see Donna covered in soot and looking confused.
"Holy crap. Mandy? Mandy?"
Donna searches for her blow up doll.
"Mommy's here Mandy, Big Momma's here! Where are you darling?"
There's a noise outside the door.
Donna stomps the door and rips it open.
She spots a sheepish Sammy Power.
"Who are you?"
"I'm Sammy Power and I thought I was just setting off some charges. I didn't mean to blow up your room."
"You bad, bad girl," clucks Donna Brazile. "Now you just get your ass in here and over my lap. Mrs. Brazile will give you what for. Be sure to take off your pants and blouse."
"My blouse?"
"Oh, Sammy," moans Donna grabbing the young woman tightly to her chest, "you are a bad girl but I bet under all that grease, there's a heart of gold. Just snuggle up to Big Momma and we'll get you a scholarship to Eastland!"
End of part one.